Zombie Survival Plan

I have one. Do you? I bet you do. And if you don't... you'd better get working on it sooner rather than later.

City or Countryside?

Can you milk one of these?

It's a bit of a no-brainer this - certainly in the long-term. You just *have* to get out into the countryside. Cities will be full of decomposing corpses, whether that's the undead or the properly dead.

However, they are also temptingly full of resources and provisions. Forget it. Far too dangerous - either from the infected, or from fellow survivors who also have their eye on those provisions and who will think nothing of using force to either keep the provisions, or take them from you. Not worth it.

If you have any intention of lasting more than a few days, you need to get away from danger, grab what you can, when you can, and plan to become self-sufficient. The Good Life? It's the only life.

Choice of Vehicle

Honda Africa Twin

Whatever you can get, when you can get it. Don't get attached to anything: be prepared to change vehicle often.

In fact, be prepared to be without a vehicle often, and for long periods. The roads will be choked with abandoned cars, and fuel will quickly become nigh-on impossible to get hold of.

Motorbikes - especially trail bikes (Honda Africa Twin, I'm thinking) - would be great for getting through congested traffic, or cutting across country... but they are vulnerable, off-road riding is going to be a challenge even for experienced road riders (let alone novices) and bikes can't carry that much.

To be perfectly honest, you're going to have to do a lot of walking. A lot of walking.

My advice? Learn to ride a horse very quickly.

Security

You need to think offence and defence. For defence, I'm staggered that nobody in films or books heads for their nearest motorcycle store. My first port of call is going to Hein Gerike, and kit myself out with a good set of leathers - boots, full suit, gloves and helmet. Full face helmet, with the visor down at all times.

Sure, a helmet will reduce your peripheral vision a bit, but it will protect you from attack - and if a zombie gets close and you have to bash its brains out, the visor will stop the infected blood and flesh getting into your eyes and mouth.

For offence, then a good club of some kind, whether it's a baseball or cricket bat will do. If you can lay your hands on a sturdy sword then that's great... but I wouldn't know where to get one. Sports shops are much easier to find.

As for guns - in the UK we don't stock them in the supermarket, so guns will not be easy to come by. A police station might be worth checking out (maybe)... but think about where your nearest shooting club/country club is.

Any nearby army base might be worth investigating - but it's also likely to be highly dangerous:

• You could be facing soldier zombies
• You could be facing perfectly human soldiers... who are heavily armed and who won't be keen on intruders: be prepared to join up with the military as conscripts if you discover they're still alive in there
• Every other survivor is likely to think that military base is a good place to go to... either they're there already, and will already have the guns, or they'll be coming right behind you: do you stand and protect your find, or do you grab what you can and get the hell out of there?

One big plus for the military base: tanks and army supplies. You'll have several months' worth of rations sorted for you and your group (you have brought a group along, haven't you?) and tanks will make short work of those traffic jams. Well, until they run out of fuel... they're kind of thirsty, tanks.

Food

First stop: the supermarket. Get food that's going to last, and get food that's nutritious and balanced. If you're going to survive out there, you need to keep fit and healthy.

But very quickly, most of the supermarket produce is going to run out and/or decompose. You need to head out into the country so that you can start growing food as soon as possible. And you'd better man-up and learn to breed chickens and pigs for food, unless you want to go vegetarian...

Communications

Radio. That will be your contact with the outside world. Who knows how long mobile phones will work for, and how long you'll have access to the electricity grid to recharge them? No, radios - wind-up portable radios, and walkie-talkies with rechargeable batteries (with wind-up rechargers... unless you can get a generator going, which of course will need fuel).

Any official announcements, or calls from other groups wanting to make contact, will be done on the radio. Get plenty of radios, and keep scanning the airwaves.

Meeting Others

Ahh... now here's the tricky bit. You won't survive long on your own, but forming a viable group is also going to be difficult. Survivors will have very different ideas about how to live successfully. Some will want to track down family (not a particularly great idea, from a cold, logical point of view) some will want to set up very democratic communes - whilst others will form militaristic hierarchies.

As you meet other survivors - either individually or in groups - you'll need to make very careful decisions about who to team up with, and who to avoid. You need numbers to make your group work... but not everybody is going to be friendly or willing to co-operate.